A Streetcar Named Usagi
by Blue Lobster
Summary: Abandoned by her parents and friends, Usagi has nowhere to go. Sailor Neptune kindly offers her a place to say, but Usagi finds it near impossible to get along with Sailor Uranus...


''What, you failed again? Get out! Get out of my house, you no-good, dumpling-eating little shit!'' Usagi's mother roared at her child with the fury of a crouching housewife, hidden abuser. Usagi had failed her University entrance exams. In Japan, this was seen as shameful, the result of a feeble minded, undisciplined nobody.

''But Mom, I had to fight all these monsters,'' protested Usagi, her insect-like eyes glaring with excessive emotion.

''What kind of monsters?''

''Monsters from the Dark Kingdom, Droids, Daimons...so many.''

''Well you should have fought against the monsters called laziness and comfort eating instead of these fantasy figures. Usagi, you truly are shameless!''

''But mom, I had to kill those monsters to protect this world of beautifuldreams and pure hearts. You're so mean. Mean, mean MEANIE! I'll call social services and tell them you're being a bad mom again.''

''That trick won't work this time. And what's this I hear? You killed...people? And you call them monsters?

''Killing monsters is my part-time job as a soldier of the moon? ''

''Oh, so you're a murderer as well as a failure. Have you any moral compass whatsoever?''

Sailor Moon blinked vapidly, said; ''I'm a pretty soldier. in the name of the moon, I will binge eat and KILL KILL KILL!''

''You are obviously mentally ill. Where did I go wrong, raising such a thing as you? At least we have Shingo. Get out of my house. Your father and I have sheltered your ungrateful ass for long enough. OUT!''

Tears streamed down Usagi's fat cheeks. She wanted food...dumplings, cake and pastries always made her pain go away. But now there was no fridge to go to, no peurile bedroom to hide in. She was alone. Abandoned by her family. Shingo kicked and punched her as she walked along the Juban District, and that was the last she ever saw of her family.

It was hopeless. Unless, of course; Ami chan! Mako chan! Rei chan! Minako chan! Surely her frineds would support her?

But when she rang Ami-chan's house, a voicemail answered in a mettalic voice; ''Gone to study in Germany. I'll never be back again.''

When she went to Minako's house, she found her in bed with a middle aged man. ''You know my filthy secret. Yes, I'm a prostitute. Now we can never be friends again,'' said Sailor Venus. Usagi left the house with soiled eyes.

When she went to Mako-chan's house, she found the princess of Jupiter dead, her masculine neck wedged in a noose. her face was red. She was still alive! Usagi tried to free Mako, but her fingers were so fat she couldn't grab the rope correctly. Inf act, she accidently hasten Makoto's death! Sailor Jupiter was now dead.

''It really makes you wonder,'' said Usagi to herself. Without an enemy to fight against, Mako-chan had gone insane in her idleness. She had also left a suicide note;

Dear fellowe Sailor Soldiers.

I commited suicide because of Usagi. She always has a boyfriend, gets all the attention, and gets a new super attack and animations with each season. It's just not fair. Why does she, an undisciplined glob of fat, get ultimate power, why I am ignored episode after episode. Absolutely unforgiveable.

PS. I suffer from bipolar disorder.

From Sailor Jupiter. Judging you all from heaven right now.

But of course, Rei-chan would HAVE to let her stay at the Kikawa shrine. But when Usagi arrived, Rei acted as if she didn't even recognise her.

''Do I know you?'' said Rei, looking at Sailor Moon with haughty inpatience.

''I'm Usagi, your best friend?''

Rei began to laugh hysterically. ''That's so funny,'' she said. ''You just made me crack my sides laughing. It truyly is laughable that you would consider me a best friend after I've made it clear on so many occasions that I loathe you with every fibre of me being. Now go and eat a pastry or something. Demon BEGONE!''

Alone, and penniless, Usagi pawned her silver crystal to make end's meat.

Thankfully, a phone call came.

''It's me, Neptune. YOu can stay at my house Usagi.''

''For real.''

''Yes. I know we don't speak much, but I admire your moon-faced emotionalism. You can be my artistic muse, so long as you chip in for rent.''

''Well, I don't have much money...''

''I'll get you a job. I'll take care of everything. My address is number 24. Elysian Fields. Take a streetcar named desire, and then change to one called cemeteires. it will bring you here. It's time to start your new life, wench of the moon.'' 


End file.
